1. 62 Things the Avengers are Not Allowed to Do.

    1. 1. Tony is not allowed to replace the entire contents of the cafeteria with pop-tarts just because Thor has declared it the ‘food of the gods.’
    2. 2. Natasha is not allowed to interrogate new S.H.I.E.L.D. employees and dispose of the ones she deems unworthy.
    3. 3. Clint is not allowed to continue insisting that is the final step of the interview process to terrified new hires.
    4. 4. Tony is not allowed to broadcast sing-along songs into the Hulk-cage, no matter amusing he finds teaching Hulk “Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, turn around”
    5. 5. Clint is not allowed to put the security feed of the Hulk’s Teddy Bear dance on Youtube.
    6. 6. Bruce is not allowed to hack into personnel files to look up blackmail material on Director Fury.
    7. 7. Tony is not allowed to insist that he’s already done so and that Fury’s middle name is Rainbow Sprinkles…. Because it isn’t.
    8. 8. Thor is not allowed to be naked at Headquarters. Ever.
    9. 9. Steve is not allowed to address any female S.H.I.E.L.D. agents as ‘little lady,’ ‘broad,’ or ‘dame.’ It only ends in getting slapped.
    10. 10. Agent Coulson’s name isn’t “Mom.”
    11. 11. Director Fury should never again be addressed as “Dad”
    12. 12. Agent Hill is not the Avenger’s wicked stepmother.
    13. 13. Clint is not allowed to lurk in the shadowy rafters spying on people, unless specifically instructed to do so for an official S.H.I.E.L.D. sanctioned mission.
    14. 14. ‘Operation Irritate the Fuck Out of Nick Fury’ is not an official mission, no matter what Tony or Natasha say to the contrary.
    15. 15. Debriefings should not be preceded by tequila shots.
    16. 16. Debriefings should not be followed by tequila shots.
    17. 17. There are to be no shots of any kind during debriefings.
    18. 18. Thor and Hulk will wait to fight until after the battle is over.
    19. 19. Tony Stark is not God’s gift to women.
    20. 20. The Avengers do not need matching uniforms.
    21. 21. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to have a contest to see who can make a bigger “boom” in the lab.
    22. 22. Thor is not allowed to join in and make the biggest boom with his hammer.
    23. 23. The Avengers will not be celebrating Steve’s 94th birthday.
    24. 24. The laboratory is not Tony and Bruce’s ‘Super Secret Genius Clubhouse.’ They are not allowed to bar entry to employees based on IQ test results.
    25. 25. The Avengers are not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.
    26. 26. Iron Man is not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.
    27. 27. Tony Stark is not making a promotional pin-up calendar. Or a sex tape.
    28. 28. Thor is not allowed to ‘bring down the wrath of Odinson’ on the person who ate the last package of pop-tarts.
    29. 29. Pants are not optional at team meetings.
    30. 30. ‘Pepper said it was okay’ is not a good enough reason to defy a director order from command.
    31. 31. The words “What’s the worst that could happen?” are never to be uttered on a mission ever again.
    32. 32. MC Hammer did not write Thor a theme song.
    33. 33. Gumby is not the love child of Bruce Banner and Reed Richards.
    34. 34. Natasha and Clint are not allowed to impersonate members of the clergy ever again. Ever.
    35. 35. Blasting ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ at top volume into Bruce’s room on loop overnight is not an effective way to suppress the Hulk.
    36. 36. Hawkeye is not sitting in the rafters waiting to pick off people playing Galaga on their computer during work hours.
    37. 37. Tony is not allowed to bribe Natasha and Clint to physically, emotionally or psychologically torture General Ross for being ‘a great big douchebucket’ and ‘being mean to Brucie-kins.’
    38. 38. Steve is ‘Captain America’ not ‘Captain New York and those 49 other, lesser states.’
    39. 39. ‘Hulk SMASH!’ is not an effective diplomatic policy.
    40. 40. Tony is not allowed to buy the Dodgers and move them back to Brooklyn to apologize for lighting Steve’s hair on fire.
    41. 41. The phrase ‘Trust me, I’m a doctor’ never leads anywhere good.
    42. 42. It is not funny to dare Bruce to drink three quarts of green food coloring before a urine test.
    43. 43. Steve is not to be introduced as ‘Captain Tightpants’ or ‘The All-American Virgin.’
    44. 44. The Avengers do not ‘charge into battle, naked like the Celts.’ Except for The Hulk. Sometimes.
    45. 45. Natasha’s glare is not in fact fatal. Tony is not allowed to continue implying that it is.
    46. 46. Tony is not allowed to convince Bruce to help him make death ray goggles so that it will be.
    47. 47. The Avengers are not allowed to overthrow the American government, just because they didn’t like the results from the last election.
    48. 48. The Avengers are not allowed to overthrow any government, without checking in with S.H.I.E.L.D. first.
    49. 49. Clint is not allowed to sell Thor any ‘magic beans.’
    50. 50. Natasha and Clint are not allowed to try to sell Tony to another planet, even if they are promised really cool new weapons in exchange.
    51. 51. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to go to any science conferences without a chaperone.
    52. 52. A robot Tony built does not count as a chaperone.
    53. 53. Nikola Tesla is not a vampire being held in the bowels of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.
    54. 54. Tony and Bruce are not allowed to go searching for him in the name of Science!
    55. 55. Clint’s super-power is not ‘being super-annoying.’
    56. 56. The following words and phrases are never to be uttered over communication devices during an active mission ever again: “Exploring sexuality,” “Necrophilia,” “It’s getting hot in herr, so take off all your clothes,” “I hate everyone on this mission and I wish they’d die in a fire,” “Nick Fury can go suck on a big bag of sausages,” references to Bruce’s giant stash of weed, mention of anyone’s erection, or “Shawarma.”
    57. 57. If it makes Tony giggle for more than 30 seconds, it isn’t allowed.
    58. 58. If it makes Natasha crack a smile, it’s probably illegal.
    59. 59. Thor taking Jane to see Asgard does not count as an alien abduction. Clint should stop referring to it as such.
    60. 60. Just because Bruce agreed to work in Tony’s lab, does not mean he needs to get a “Property of Stark Industries” tattoo.
    61. 61. Tony is not allowed to design a robot to draw said tattoo on Bruce when he falls asleep in the lab.
    62. 62. Post-mission reports to Director Fury should not start out ‘So let me explain…’
     
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  4. "Online activism changed me from a woman who actively put down other women to one who actively uplifts them. Online activism changed me from a white woman with unchecked privilege who actively oppressed people of color to a woman who has lost friends because she tells them to shut their racist mouths. Online activism has changed me from a woman who hated her body, to a woman who realizes just how beautiful she is. No one EVER tell me online activism isn’t good for anything."
    — 

    sazziscooler

    The above is so me. My gut reaction is to cringe at the phrase “online activism” but when you really think about it everything these online communities provide —  free information/literature sharing, community building, consciousness raising, and the free exchange of ideas and critiques are all (more within the self, more passive) forms of activism.

    One of my favorite rebuttals of some asshat saying the usual “SJ blogs don’t even do anything because it’s not in real life” was when someone said "If it wasn’t for online activism, I’d still be calling women sluts and whores."

    Same for me. And now I’m a sociology major and I go to a women’s college and constantly read/think/write about intersectional feminism. So fuck anyone who thinks online social justice conversations and blogs don’t “do anything.”

    (via bytheseawithoutme)

    Saving this for people who think that online activism and education doesn’t have value.

    (via moniquill)

    Through this little blogging website, I learned a fuckton about homophobia, sexism, racism, and took all of it to heart. I know some people scoff at “social justice”, but without it, I would still be homophobic, I’d still be a little sexist, and I’d probably still be saying unintentionally racist bullshit.

    (via giemma)

    (Source: aquieterrioter, via kitkatkitsu)

     
  5. dreadful-secrets:

    4musinq:

    THIS

    Almost all…

    (Source: i-feel-like-a-freak, via kitkatkitsu)

     

  6. seasaltinecrackers:

    human versions of the lion king where everyone is white

    image

    (via wesley-crusher)

     

  7. emphasisonthehomo:

    Queer subtext in media is nice and all, but have you considered:

    • Including actual queer characters instead of vague metaphors for queer characters.

    (via wingardiumleviohsar)

     

  8. dangercupcakemurdericing:

    hufflepuffsquee:

    TEN. 

    THERE. ARE. TEN.

    URLS POSTING RACISM IN THE POCECIL TAG. 

    WHY ARE THEY STILL HERE, WHY ARE THEY NOT GONE? WHAT IS THE FANDOM DOING!?

    image

    Block. report. Work to make this fucking shit DISAPPEAR. 

    White “allies” who have previously expressed horror at the racism in this fandom, now is the time for you to actually do something.

    (via theroguefeminist)

     

  9. but seriously though - emma swan is a bamf and she can deal with any shit that green beyotch can throw at her and her family. because she is capable, and strong, and fierce and she doesn’t need no brooding pirate douche white knighting it so he can feel better after being a douche. 

    Also she has regina aka THE EVIL QUEEN on her side teaching her how to magic and holy shit how can you be so freaking ridiculous killian. just tell her about the threat, say, heeeyyyy ems, i mighta got cursed by Zolena (what’s up with that name btw - the wicked witch is elphaba ppl) and now she says if i don’t kiss you and take your powers away she’ll start hurting people you love eg henry. Oh hai regina, yeah i forgot that you are also very very fiercely protective of henry and have cast several protection spells over the charmings, and could do the same over other ppl. hey, why don’t you protection spell everyone in storybrook huh? 

    in other words, ouat is just as balls to wall confusing as usual and i love it because it is a soap opera with fairytales and yay

     

  10. captain swan is hitting all my feelings

    also killian is white knighting the shit out of this

    cap. stahp. let swan queen deal with it they have magic

     
  11. katiedora7:

    Is Yorkshire like the British version of Florida?

    (Source: toocooltobehipster)

     

  12. thefatgirlblog:

    "All these young girls getting themselves pregnant"

    Wow, self impregnating teenage girls, these men should be afraid, we as woman are evolving at alarming rates.

    (via egberts)

     
  13. someauthorgirl:

    vixyish:

    solarbird:

    xgenepositive:

    mmmahogany:

    #john barrowman is having none of your misogynist bullshit

    i love that barrowman’s response also distances him from the contestant
    "hahahaha women do laundry right john?  you with me, john?"
    "don’t lump me in with you, you fucking martian”

    This is what I’m talking about when I keep saying that men have to deny the endorsement. This guy wanted Barrowman’s tacit support or agreement for his sexism, as part of bonding through humour. John went nope.

    Bolding mine.

    I hope I live long enough to attain even a tenth of Barrowman’s “you fucking martian” face.

    (Source: kaniehtiio, via youbestnotmiss)

     
  14. wessasaurus-rex:

    vy2cool:

    kristrauma:

    Not sure you all know this, but Ramsay returned to Amy’s Baking Company, and that episode airs in 6 days (April 11, 2014) 

    IT’S AIRING ON MY BIRTHDAY??? THIS IS THE BEST PRESENT EVER

    oh lord im looking forward to seeing this 

    (Source: reddit.com, via kitkatkitsu)

     
  15. spoken-not-written:

    I AM SCREAMING

    (Source: coolthisfox, via kitkatkitsu)